Sunflowers and Moonmonsters
Quote from Adriana on August 8, 2023, 10:58 am"You'll feel better by tomorrow," I reassured. "Tired, though. Day of the full moon always feels worse. It's a big change your first time."
I probably couldn't reassure her much at this point. It's hard to see the other side of something til you're there.
"You'll feel better by tomorrow," I reassured. "Tired, though. Day of the full moon always feels worse. It's a big change your first time."
I probably couldn't reassure her much at this point. It's hard to see the other side of something til you're there.
Quote from Mae on August 8, 2023, 2:59 pmRosa frowned at this word about Douglas, but said no more regarding him.
Mercy winced and braced herself. She waited out a spike of pain in her left shoulder and her heart beat faster for it. "And you said this can be controlled?" She breathed the words after the pain passed.
"Eventually, it will be second nature to you. But to reach that point you will have to give yourself a lot of grace." Rosa explained. Then she warned, "Don't try to control it tonight, and don't try to fight it. It will make things all that much more difficult for you if you do."
"How?" Mercy said. "What am I supposed to do?"
Rosa couldn't hear Mercy's heart beating faster, but she detected the rise in anxiety in Mercy's face and eyes.
"Just don't be afraid." Rosa said. "And listen to Robin, she'll walk you through it."
Rosa frowned at this word about Douglas, but said no more regarding him.
Mercy winced and braced herself. She waited out a spike of pain in her left shoulder and her heart beat faster for it. "And you said this can be controlled?" She breathed the words after the pain passed.
"Eventually, it will be second nature to you. But to reach that point you will have to give yourself a lot of grace." Rosa explained. Then she warned, "Don't try to control it tonight, and don't try to fight it. It will make things all that much more difficult for you if you do."
"How?" Mercy said. "What am I supposed to do?"
Rosa couldn't hear Mercy's heart beating faster, but she detected the rise in anxiety in Mercy's face and eyes.
"Just don't be afraid." Rosa said. "And listen to Robin, she'll walk you through it."
Quote from Adriana on August 8, 2023, 4:10 pm*************
We hiked a few miles north, over the hills and eventually arriving at a sparsely wooded area with a natural stream. It wasn't a particularly strenuous walk, but we took breaks often and had given ourselves plenty of time to make it.
I had put on the change suit. It was more fitted than my usual choice of clothing, so I threw a baggy shirt and cargo pants, at least until before we changed. The bag of goodies was slung over my shoulder.
Charlie was safely back at the house with Rosa. My worries and fear would have to stay back there with her - Mercy was hurting and she'd soon be alert to every subtlety of my person; I couldn't allow her to see any insecurity. I locked it up tight and kept it smoothly under the surface. Decades of practice made it easy.
Gauging the moon's position in the sky, I discerned we had about an hour left. I went over Rosa's instructions again and again. We'd get through this, somehow.
"We're not gonna go any further." I said, setting the bags down and taking off the shirt and pants.
"How are you feeling right now?"
*************
We hiked a few miles north, over the hills and eventually arriving at a sparsely wooded area with a natural stream. It wasn't a particularly strenuous walk, but we took breaks often and had given ourselves plenty of time to make it.
I had put on the change suit. It was more fitted than my usual choice of clothing, so I threw a baggy shirt and cargo pants, at least until before we changed. The bag of goodies was slung over my shoulder.
Charlie was safely back at the house with Rosa. My worries and fear would have to stay back there with her - Mercy was hurting and she'd soon be alert to every subtlety of my person; I couldn't allow her to see any insecurity. I locked it up tight and kept it smoothly under the surface. Decades of practice made it easy.
Gauging the moon's position in the sky, I discerned we had about an hour left. I went over Rosa's instructions again and again. We'd get through this, somehow.
"We're not gonna go any further." I said, setting the bags down and taking off the shirt and pants.
"How are you feeling right now?"
Quote from Mae on August 8, 2023, 7:27 pm"Take her as far away from here as you can, or she will come right back." Rosa whispered to Robin before they left. "She'll come looking for him."
Mercy was breathing hard and shakily when they came to a stop.
"Like I'm being torn inside out." She said, repressing her tears. Throughout the hike, Mercy had fallen on her military training to get through, but now she dropped her crutches and bowed down.
"Take her as far away from here as you can, or she will come right back." Rosa whispered to Robin before they left. "She'll come looking for him."
Mercy was breathing hard and shakily when they came to a stop.
"Like I'm being torn inside out." She said, repressing her tears. Throughout the hike, Mercy had fallen on her military training to get through, but now she dropped her crutches and bowed down.
Quote from Adriana on August 8, 2023, 7:53 pm"Hey, easy," I dropped to my knees beside her. Those few miles surely felt like an eternity on one leg, and when your insides felt like glass.
Man, I was the wrong girl for the job. I couldn't think of a single thing to say that'd bring any kind of comfort. Where on earth was Chapman? Or the kid that did this? No - he probably felt bad enough.
"I know, it's not easy. You're gonna make it though, you got that? Deep breaths. You're going to want to find something to focus on, and keep that focus during and after, while you adjust. We can put you in the water, it's not too deep-you can focus on the cold-or the sound of it. You can look at those rocks over there and focus on the shapes and sizes, you can focus on me. Just find something and focus."
"Hey, easy," I dropped to my knees beside her. Those few miles surely felt like an eternity on one leg, and when your insides felt like glass.
Man, I was the wrong girl for the job. I couldn't think of a single thing to say that'd bring any kind of comfort. Where on earth was Chapman? Or the kid that did this? No - he probably felt bad enough.
"I know, it's not easy. You're gonna make it though, you got that? Deep breaths. You're going to want to find something to focus on, and keep that focus during and after, while you adjust. We can put you in the water, it's not too deep-you can focus on the cold-or the sound of it. You can look at those rocks over there and focus on the shapes and sizes, you can focus on me. Just find something and focus."
Quote from Mae on August 8, 2023, 9:45 pm"The green bottles will need to be opened and recorked to work. You can put them anywhere you need them. Hang the blue bottles on trees and bushes to catch the wind. The clear bottles need to be in the moonlight."
Focus. Find a focal point, Mercy.
Mercy lifted her eyes, but it was difficult to focus on anything. Sounds came clearer and sharper in her ears then they should. Light and detail were all distorted. Her heart was beating so fast! Her veins hurt. Her hands trembled. The world seemed to be rolling around under her. She fell over onto her hands. Even though she could feel the solid earth, it still felt like it was rocking to and fro.
"No, I don't want to move." She said. "Where's Charlie? I can hear him. Where is he?"
"The green bottles will need to be opened and recorked to work. You can put them anywhere you need them. Hang the blue bottles on trees and bushes to catch the wind. The clear bottles need to be in the moonlight."
Focus. Find a focal point, Mercy.
Mercy lifted her eyes, but it was difficult to focus on anything. Sounds came clearer and sharper in her ears then they should. Light and detail were all distorted. Her heart was beating so fast! Her veins hurt. Her hands trembled. The world seemed to be rolling around under her. She fell over onto her hands. Even though she could feel the solid earth, it still felt like it was rocking to and fro.
"No, I don't want to move." She said. "Where's Charlie? I can hear him. Where is he?"
Quote from Adriana on August 8, 2023, 10:00 pm“He’s safe, don’t worry. He’s safe. Stay right there, then. You got a favorite song or Bible passage?”
She wouldn’t hold on much longer. I fumbled through the bag and began recalling Rosa’s instructions, putting up the bottles quickly.
I kept a green bottle in the bag on my shoulder and the other ones near Mercy.
“You need to let it pass. You have to submit your will to it.” I reminded her, standing before it. “Don’t fight it.”
“He’s safe, don’t worry. He’s safe. Stay right there, then. You got a favorite song or Bible passage?”
She wouldn’t hold on much longer. I fumbled through the bag and began recalling Rosa’s instructions, putting up the bottles quickly.
I kept a green bottle in the bag on my shoulder and the other ones near Mercy.
“You need to let it pass. You have to submit your will to it.” I reminded her, standing before it. “Don’t fight it.”
Quote from Mae on August 8, 2023, 10:29 pm"Just talk to her, Robin."
In her mind's ear, Mercy could hear Charlie crying for her, "Mommy! Mommy!"
Mercy bowed til her forehead touched the earth and her tears ran up into her brow.
"Just talk to her, Robin."
In her mind's ear, Mercy could hear Charlie crying for her, "Mommy! Mommy!"
Mercy bowed til her forehead touched the earth and her tears ran up into her brow.
Quote from Adriana on August 8, 2023, 10:50 pmI crouched, removing the last item from the bag-it was my Bible, well loved. The leather had just about come off and the pages were stained in places-with tears, with blood.
This was something I knew how to use.
My favorite verses were marked and I read them each to Mercy. I don’t know if she heard me, but the words were there for her to take freely nonetheless. Meanwhile. I could feel the moon on my back. It was a matter of minutes now.
With that in mind, I stayed ever mindful of the beat of her heart, and prayed that He would keep it steady, while I continued to recite verses.
I crouched, removing the last item from the bag-it was my Bible, well loved. The leather had just about come off and the pages were stained in places-with tears, with blood.
This was something I knew how to use.
My favorite verses were marked and I read them each to Mercy. I don’t know if she heard me, but the words were there for her to take freely nonetheless. Meanwhile. I could feel the moon on my back. It was a matter of minutes now.
With that in mind, I stayed ever mindful of the beat of her heart, and prayed that He would keep it steady, while I continued to recite verses.
Quote from Mae on August 10, 2023, 1:51 pm"She may not hear you. She may not understand you. When the time comes, she will be like a child exploring the world for the first time. But remember she will need you, more than anything you can do or say."
How the time felt like it passed in a moment and a millennia both at once was a wonder. Every second of that hour felt like an eternity to Mercy, but an eternity that passed within a blink of an eye.
Peace and solemnity rested in the field and under the moon on that night. The grass rolled like the waves of the sea in the passing wind. The stream trickled quietly by. And in the middle of it all, Robin recited verses of hope. Mercy could hear Robin's voice like an echo in a cathedral. Sometimes it was clear and distinct. Other times, it was distant and indiscernible.
Inside Mercy, everything was in commotion. All around her sounds vied for her attention and rang in her ears, running together in a jumble of noises that confused and disoriented her. Her heartbeat pounded above and below it all, throbbing in her head, neck, and fingertips. Smells ran up from the earth, first so familiar, and then smells she had never smelled before - overwhelming her from every side, bombarding her with information she could not understand! For sight, she saw nothing. She kept her eyes tight shut and her head bowed, feeling the world tip to and fro. Feeling was the worst of it all, for waves of pain came on hot and fast and sharp, and then turned soft, even, and smooth. Each wave left behind a burning, itching sensation all over her and in her and through her. Mercy's groans belied the extent of her inward turmoil.
Then, the moment came. Mercy felt the wind rush out of her. She threw her head back and gasped for breath. And she saw, above her head, the great white moon. It's features were blurred by her tears. Darkness gathered at the edges of her sight around it. Then she fell onto her back, and remembered no more.
"She may not hear you. She may not understand you. When the time comes, she will be like a child exploring the world for the first time. But remember she will need you, more than anything you can do or say."
How the time felt like it passed in a moment and a millennia both at once was a wonder. Every second of that hour felt like an eternity to Mercy, but an eternity that passed within a blink of an eye.
Peace and solemnity rested in the field and under the moon on that night. The grass rolled like the waves of the sea in the passing wind. The stream trickled quietly by. And in the middle of it all, Robin recited verses of hope. Mercy could hear Robin's voice like an echo in a cathedral. Sometimes it was clear and distinct. Other times, it was distant and indiscernible.
Inside Mercy, everything was in commotion. All around her sounds vied for her attention and rang in her ears, running together in a jumble of noises that confused and disoriented her. Her heartbeat pounded above and below it all, throbbing in her head, neck, and fingertips. Smells ran up from the earth, first so familiar, and then smells she had never smelled before - overwhelming her from every side, bombarding her with information she could not understand! For sight, she saw nothing. She kept her eyes tight shut and her head bowed, feeling the world tip to and fro. Feeling was the worst of it all, for waves of pain came on hot and fast and sharp, and then turned soft, even, and smooth. Each wave left behind a burning, itching sensation all over her and in her and through her. Mercy's groans belied the extent of her inward turmoil.
Then, the moment came. Mercy felt the wind rush out of her. She threw her head back and gasped for breath. And she saw, above her head, the great white moon. It's features were blurred by her tears. Darkness gathered at the edges of her sight around it. Then she fell onto her back, and remembered no more.
