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Dead of Winter (CA - Robin, Uno, & Bob)

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Chapman watched as Val took those first tentative steps out of the house.

He came down to a squat and scooped score into his ungloved hands, packing into a tight ball. Then stepped towards Val, holding it out.

“Throw it at me. Right here.” He said, pointing to his nose. “And say every terrible thing about werewolves you want to say.”

Val stared at the snowball but didn't take it. He had flinched as soon as it was offered, as though anticipating something worse.  His eyes darted upwards, finding the light caught Chapman's eyes strangely as well...

Eyes in the night...

He backpedaled backwards several steps, looking at Chapman like he had done something grievously wrong. The thrum of his heart had picked up a pace. His face was flushed as he breathed quickly.

"What? No..." he shook his head, seeming dazed.

He found a point on the horizon that didn't move in a twig of a barren tree. He didn't look at Chapman.

"Where's Steele?"

Chapman shrugged.

”Alive. I wouldn’t count on seeing him anytime soon.” he bounced the snowball in his hand.

”I’m taking you two to the cabin today. You’re recovered enough. Once you get a grasp on your second form, I reccommend getting out of town—out of state. Not sure what crevice that low excuse for a person crawled into after-you know-but I’d put money on the notion that he hasn’t gone far.”

The words came too fast for him to process. Wouldn't see him again. Cabin. Second form. Low excuse of a person. The implications spun in dizzying velocities. Why wouldn't Steele see him? What was a second form? What person?

The answers were obvious.

And yet, it wasn't at all.  It balled up in his gut, drawing to a bright hot point. It wanted to explode and burst outwards, but there was nowhere to go. It wanted to tear every bandage off his body and see just what looked back at him the mirror - and it wanted to break every mirror in the cabin so he wouldn't have to.

"Shut up you old wind bag!" it came as an outburst of expression more than words. His eye was shut tightly as he wiped fearful, wrathful tears from his face, "Who are you? Why does Robin trust you? Why should I trust you? You're nothing but a no good--"

The word caught, recalling Robin's reaction, and immediately brought forth shame.

“No good what?” Chapman asked, waiting for him to finish. “Werewolf? I am. So is my wife, who has been tending to you day and night for the past six weeks. So is the woman you were willing to die for, and who was willing to return the favor. So are you.

He threw the snowball against a tree and watched it scatter into a powder.

“You can choose to prove all of your stereotypes wrong, or you can go down the same road and become the thing you hate most. You are changed, but you do not have to let it change you.”

Chapman's words were too much.  It bowed him over until his knees quivered and he sunk down into the snow.  He brought his arms around himself tightly, as though a hug, and then he cried. It was an honest cry - hard and racking his body, atrophied muscles pushed to expel and purge the emotion from inside of him. It seemed as though a small emotion to contain the magnitude within it, but so he did, until nothing was left. He sat there in the snow, feeling numb both physically and emotionally, and starred out ahead to the stark landscape.

When Val began to recover himself, Chapman was gone. The space he looked out towards was empty and the wind whispered through the hollow places beteeen the trees, picking up loose white powder off the ground.

But he wasn’t alone. Robin had come back outside. She sat down near him and brought an arm and a blanket around his shoulders.

As the blanket and arm were provided, he leaned towards Robin. Though he'd thought he had run out of tears in the snow earlier, it began anew against the warmth of her. He turned his head into her shoulder to hide his face from the chill.

"I'm sorry," he sniffled, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

He repeated it several more times, between soft sobs and gentle hiccups, until he felt soothed against her.

Robin hushed him and stroked his hair, resting her chin on top of his head until he calmed. When he finished crying she took his chin and lifted it, putting her forehead against his and wiping his tears with the open palm of her other hand.

”Listen,” she said firmly, making sure he did not move or relent his gaze. “You are so brave, and so strong, and so good. I am so proud of you. You’re gonna do great things, and don’t let anyone-not on the outside, or inside that head, tell you otherwise. We’re gonna stick together. You understand me?”

He gave the smallest nod. The words Robin said didn't matter, but the tone she used did. It contained within it a small sanctuary. Somehow, he knew she had not left him during those many weeks.

After a time, he stood to go back inside. His fingertips felt chilled in the snow and the sweatpants had been soaked through.  He held the blanket around himself like a small child.

"Someday... can you tell me what happened to us after September?" he asked softly as they came to the threshold of the doorway.  The last several days, he had spent some time reconstructing what he could. The last day he recalled was at the end of September, just after their failed mission.  Everything else...

The nurse was right. He was better off not knowing. He didn't want details. Just enough to know the broad strokes.  The questions lingered.  The police officer said he had saved Robin's life, and she had saved his.  And if someone was after them... he needed to know who.

But not today.

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