Turning Leaves (Robin, Uno, Bob, & Lyra)
Quote from Indy on September 28, 2020, 6:53 pmMy face was still burning, "I'm not an idiot".
I surveyed my mug-shot, none too pleased with the shade, "But she will figure me out eventually. She's... seen something before I think".
We'd hiked all the way up until we reached the other side of the road. I'd been impressed - for all her insistence to the contrary, she'd managed to retrace our steps pretty well. She'd catalogued the rest of the area for further clues, but all signs of passage had ceased. She sat there a good long while until she'd called it, and I could still remember the strange, almost haunted, look to her face.
"You're right, I should just... call it off," I was agitated, pacing along the counter but provided no obvious means of escape, "There's a lot of ways it could end, and I'm guessing most of them are bad".
My face was still burning, "I'm not an idiot".
I surveyed my mug-shot, none too pleased with the shade, "But she will figure me out eventually. She's... seen something before I think".
We'd hiked all the way up until we reached the other side of the road. I'd been impressed - for all her insistence to the contrary, she'd managed to retrace our steps pretty well. She'd catalogued the rest of the area for further clues, but all signs of passage had ceased. She sat there a good long while until she'd called it, and I could still remember the strange, almost haunted, look to her face.
"You're right, I should just... call it off," I was agitated, pacing along the counter but provided no obvious means of escape, "There's a lot of ways it could end, and I'm guessing most of them are bad".
Quote from Adriana on September 28, 2020, 8:51 pmI kept the phone away from my head for a second.. close enough to hear him, far enough that he couldn't hear me steadying my breath. I needed a moment to think without being angry.
When I lifted the phone to my ear again, I had to physically put effort in to change my tone of voice.
"No, Val..." I pinched my eyebrows together, "It could end really good, too. We don't know what's in store for us. But putting someone in between worlds like that - it's not something you do easily. There's a delicate balance and, more often than not, you become one of us, you die, or you become one of them. You live to hunt or you hunt to live, but there's very little room in between."
I knew I was preaching to the choir. I didn't want to see anyone get hurt who didn't have to. Especially not Val. Especially not by someone he intended to put his full trust into, or vice versa.
Letting the line go silent for a moment, I rested my eyes on the luggage and tightened my hand around the phone, feeling my shoulders drop. "Do you think you could come home, soon? We've got a lot to talk about..."
I kept the phone away from my head for a second.. close enough to hear him, far enough that he couldn't hear me steadying my breath. I needed a moment to think without being angry.
When I lifted the phone to my ear again, I had to physically put effort in to change my tone of voice.
"No, Val..." I pinched my eyebrows together, "It could end really good, too. We don't know what's in store for us. But putting someone in between worlds like that - it's not something you do easily. There's a delicate balance and, more often than not, you become one of us, you die, or you become one of them. You live to hunt or you hunt to live, but there's very little room in between."
I knew I was preaching to the choir. I didn't want to see anyone get hurt who didn't have to. Especially not Val. Especially not by someone he intended to put his full trust into, or vice versa.
Letting the line go silent for a moment, I rested my eyes on the luggage and tightened my hand around the phone, feeling my shoulders drop. "Do you think you could come home, soon? We've got a lot to talk about..."
Quote from Indy on September 28, 2020, 9:12 pmI stared at the mirror a good long while after that. Not speaking, but certainly feeling well enough the sentiment on the other end. Not that I needed much reminding. Sometimes my own face was a stranger to me. Even after all these years, there were days where I expected to wake up and be someone else. The last thing I'd ever want to do was put someone through the same thing.
"Yeah," I said finally, tying back my hair, "I'll be home in 20".
I snapped the phone off. Then I turned away from the mirror and grabbed the muddied clothing I'd set by the sink in a grocery sack. I liked to keep a locker at the local Y just in case - I mean you never knew - and more often than not my level of preparation came in handy. It was one less thing for Robin to worry about.
***
Hesitantly, I lingered by the threshold like some vampire. The tone in Robin's voice made me apprehensive. But news never changed the longer it was prolonged, so in a breathless nod I unlocked the door and stepped inside.
"Robin?"
I stared at the mirror a good long while after that. Not speaking, but certainly feeling well enough the sentiment on the other end. Not that I needed much reminding. Sometimes my own face was a stranger to me. Even after all these years, there were days where I expected to wake up and be someone else. The last thing I'd ever want to do was put someone through the same thing.
"Yeah," I said finally, tying back my hair, "I'll be home in 20".
I snapped the phone off. Then I turned away from the mirror and grabbed the muddied clothing I'd set by the sink in a grocery sack. I liked to keep a locker at the local Y just in case - I mean you never knew - and more often than not my level of preparation came in handy. It was one less thing for Robin to worry about.
***
Hesitantly, I lingered by the threshold like some vampire. The tone in Robin's voice made me apprehensive. But news never changed the longer it was prolonged, so in a breathless nod I unlocked the door and stepped inside.
"Robin?"
Quote from Adriana on September 28, 2020, 11:08 pmI sat on the sofa. My hands were together as if in prayer and my knuckles had turned almost white, which wasn't easy with my complexion.
I didn't know what to say really, or how to say it.
When the gurgle of the Harley filled the air and came to a stop, my stomach tightened into a ball.
"Val..." I looked towards the door and tried to not look so constipated for words. I wasn't someone to not look a person in the eye when I was talking to him, but this time was different.
"Alright... let me talk, and don't say anything til I'm through. First of all, I'm sorry that I got short with you earlier," I said, clearing my throat and staring at the ground.
"You've got an... okay thing going on here. I just want you to be careful not to blow it." I stood now and crossed my arms, "You have a house, a job.. it's not perfect, but it's something. It's a start, and it can be more than that.." now was the hard part. I let my arms fall slack at my sides and finally met Val's gaze, "You and I, we're not - we were never set in stone. This wasn't supposed to be long term.." I shifted my weight onto a hip and breathed in a shaking sigh, grabbing hold of the chain around my neck and fingering the ring fastened to it.
"I'm too close to him, and too far. If I stay, I'm going to do something stupid, and put myself or him in danger. If they find out about us, I don't know what'll happen. I need to get away.. maybe try and find her again. I'm not sure, yet. But I need to go.." I wasn't sure how to continue. My bags were already packed.
"I'm not through, yet."
My throat was getting hoarse but I needed to finish.
"I took that old car of yours from the shop and some money I had saved. I traded it in for a newer model that isn't falling apart. It was a good deal, and I got the price down a bit. It's going to be a lot more reliable. If you need to leave town quickly, she'll get you out. I'm sorry I took the initiative, but you're sentimental for a guy missing an eye, and you would have kept that thing until you were Fred Flinstoning it across the country. It's parked out back." I picked up the keys off of the arm of the couch and tossed them to him.
"I'll keep my phone on as long as I can. But you get in trouble, or need an out... Chapman isn't far, and he has more resources than I do. You may need to relocate, you'll have to start over again, but he can get you into a new place with a new name."
I breathed a long sigh,
"I've had my life. It was short, but sweet. I have a husband, and somewhere I have a daughter, and nothing can take that away from me. But it's your turn now kiddo. Don't throw it away, don't give up on good things in spite of all the evil we've seen...."
I sighed,
"Now, I'm through."
I sat on the sofa. My hands were together as if in prayer and my knuckles had turned almost white, which wasn't easy with my complexion.
I didn't know what to say really, or how to say it.
When the gurgle of the Harley filled the air and came to a stop, my stomach tightened into a ball.
"Val..." I looked towards the door and tried to not look so constipated for words. I wasn't someone to not look a person in the eye when I was talking to him, but this time was different.
"Alright... let me talk, and don't say anything til I'm through. First of all, I'm sorry that I got short with you earlier," I said, clearing my throat and staring at the ground.
"You've got an... okay thing going on here. I just want you to be careful not to blow it." I stood now and crossed my arms, "You have a house, a job.. it's not perfect, but it's something. It's a start, and it can be more than that.." now was the hard part. I let my arms fall slack at my sides and finally met Val's gaze, "You and I, we're not - we were never set in stone. This wasn't supposed to be long term.." I shifted my weight onto a hip and breathed in a shaking sigh, grabbing hold of the chain around my neck and fingering the ring fastened to it.
"I'm too close to him, and too far. If I stay, I'm going to do something stupid, and put myself or him in danger. If they find out about us, I don't know what'll happen. I need to get away.. maybe try and find her again. I'm not sure, yet. But I need to go.." I wasn't sure how to continue. My bags were already packed.
"I'm not through, yet."
My throat was getting hoarse but I needed to finish.
"I took that old car of yours from the shop and some money I had saved. I traded it in for a newer model that isn't falling apart. It was a good deal, and I got the price down a bit. It's going to be a lot more reliable. If you need to leave town quickly, she'll get you out. I'm sorry I took the initiative, but you're sentimental for a guy missing an eye, and you would have kept that thing until you were Fred Flinstoning it across the country. It's parked out back." I picked up the keys off of the arm of the couch and tossed them to him.
"I'll keep my phone on as long as I can. But you get in trouble, or need an out... Chapman isn't far, and he has more resources than I do. You may need to relocate, you'll have to start over again, but he can get you into a new place with a new name."
I breathed a long sigh,
"I've had my life. It was short, but sweet. I have a husband, and somewhere I have a daughter, and nothing can take that away from me. But it's your turn now kiddo. Don't throw it away, don't give up on good things in spite of all the evil we've seen...."
I sighed,
"Now, I'm through."
Quote from Indy on September 28, 2020, 11:31 pmI let Robin go, but it took over ounce of my self-control not to. My jaw clenched, my hands stiff. She looked so casual by the sofa, but I knew she was anything but. This wasn’t some flight of fancy, this was something she’d been thinking about for a while.
While I’d been fretting about muddy clothing and lunar shenanigans, Robin had taken the rug out from under me.
When she finished, I still didn’t say anything at first - not trusting myself to speak.
“So, what? Burn the bridges and never look back?” I was trying to keep my voice calm, but it was already clipping at the ends.
I took a few paces into the room, not quite approaching the couch but instead moving towards a wall.
“Look, I’m sorry I was a mess those first few years, I’m sorry I put you through things a person shouldn’t have to live through, I’m sorry about all that - but you want to go and pretend it didn’t happen? Like I’ve been a pet-project, and now I’ve gone and graduated so you can go disappear, good deed completed?”
I was fuming, I couldn’t even look at the keys or Robin’s face. Instead, I focussed on the dimple-pattern of the wall.
“Your life isn’t over,” I growled, not managing and not caring to hide it, “If you want to go reconnect with your daughter, then go reconnect with her. If you want to get away from our creepy next-door neighbors, then get away. But don’t you go making it like we’re never going to speak again”.
My fists clenched. Teetering off at the edge of white-hot anger, I held on by a thread.
I let Robin go, but it took over ounce of my self-control not to. My jaw clenched, my hands stiff. She looked so casual by the sofa, but I knew she was anything but. This wasn’t some flight of fancy, this was something she’d been thinking about for a while.
While I’d been fretting about muddy clothing and lunar shenanigans, Robin had taken the rug out from under me.
When she finished, I still didn’t say anything at first - not trusting myself to speak.
“So, what? Burn the bridges and never look back?” I was trying to keep my voice calm, but it was already clipping at the ends.
I took a few paces into the room, not quite approaching the couch but instead moving towards a wall.
“Look, I’m sorry I was a mess those first few years, I’m sorry I put you through things a person shouldn’t have to live through, I’m sorry about all that - but you want to go and pretend it didn’t happen? Like I’ve been a pet-project, and now I’ve gone and graduated so you can go disappear, good deed completed?”
I was fuming, I couldn’t even look at the keys or Robin’s face. Instead, I focussed on the dimple-pattern of the wall.
“Your life isn’t over,” I growled, not managing and not caring to hide it, “If you want to go reconnect with your daughter, then go reconnect with her. If you want to get away from our creepy next-door neighbors, then get away. But don’t you go making it like we’re never going to speak again”.
My fists clenched. Teetering off at the edge of white-hot anger, I held on by a thread.
Quote from Adriana on September 28, 2020, 11:50 pm"Now, don't be that way."
I scolded, but softly.
"First of all.. we were both there for all of those "things you put me through". We both worked under Steele by choice. You didn't put me through anything. It was my fault we got tangled up with Darius and you got changed. And you've never been my pet project. You've come all this way on your own, your will, your mind, your heart. I didn't choose to make you better, you had to choose that on your own, and you did. Yes, I'm proud of you - but I can't take credit for your resilience. On the contrary... you've helped me. Maybe all these years I was using you to fill a void-I felt some responsibility to you because I wasn't there for her. But that's not fair to accuse me of making you my project. You mean far too much to me to surmise our friendship like that."
I settled my own voice again,
"I'm not burning any bridges... I just want to see you build your own, and not worry about me anymore. At the risk of sounding conceited, I know I'm always at the back of your mind, Val. I can't guarantee that'll change with distance, but I can't be the reason you don't move forward and live. You're not just looking over your shoulder for you, you're doing it for me, too. I can't live knowing you calculate your steps based on where I stand and if you can help me from your position or not."
I sat down again wearily.
"Now, don't be that way."
I scolded, but softly.
"First of all.. we were both there for all of those "things you put me through". We both worked under Steele by choice. You didn't put me through anything. It was my fault we got tangled up with Darius and you got changed. And you've never been my pet project. You've come all this way on your own, your will, your mind, your heart. I didn't choose to make you better, you had to choose that on your own, and you did. Yes, I'm proud of you - but I can't take credit for your resilience. On the contrary... you've helped me. Maybe all these years I was using you to fill a void-I felt some responsibility to you because I wasn't there for her. But that's not fair to accuse me of making you my project. You mean far too much to me to surmise our friendship like that."
I settled my own voice again,
"I'm not burning any bridges... I just want to see you build your own, and not worry about me anymore. At the risk of sounding conceited, I know I'm always at the back of your mind, Val. I can't guarantee that'll change with distance, but I can't be the reason you don't move forward and live. You're not just looking over your shoulder for you, you're doing it for me, too. I can't live knowing you calculate your steps based on where I stand and if you can help me from your position or not."
I sat down again wearily.
Quote from Indy on September 29, 2020, 8:28 amThe anger went out like a puff of smoke. That’s the trouble with anger - once it’s gone, you’re just tired. I moved to take a seat at the table, not entirely looking at Robin but glancing at her from the corner of my eye. I sighed deeply, running my fingers along my scalp.
“You’re going to disappear,” I said suddenly, “You’ll change your name, get a new place, change the plates on your motorcycle or maybe even get a new make, change your bank accounts and cards, get a new job. We’ve done it together a thousand times before, so don’t pretend like that’s not what you’re going to do. You’ll keep your phone - but for how long until it’s compromised enough you need to change the number? You tell me it’s not about burning bridges, but that’s what it sounds like”.
“If this is about guilt, check yourself,” my voice went low - almost a growl but not really, “If you think I blame you for what Darius did, I don’t. My life was already going nowhere good, trust me, if it hadn’t been then it would have been later and that much worse”.
I glanced stiffly at our little abode. We hadn’t lived here too long, but we’d already managed to get a sofa and some throw pillows. The table and chairs had been a nice find on someone’s curb; you almost wouldn’t believe it hadn’t been obtained specifically for the space. We’d gotten little hand towels and hand soaps that smelled like flowers. It wasn’t much, but it was a home.
“Here’s what I do know. A house, a job - it doesn’t mean much without the people to match. Otherwise it’s just a house, and it’s just a job”.
The anger went out like a puff of smoke. That’s the trouble with anger - once it’s gone, you’re just tired. I moved to take a seat at the table, not entirely looking at Robin but glancing at her from the corner of my eye. I sighed deeply, running my fingers along my scalp.
“You’re going to disappear,” I said suddenly, “You’ll change your name, get a new place, change the plates on your motorcycle or maybe even get a new make, change your bank accounts and cards, get a new job. We’ve done it together a thousand times before, so don’t pretend like that’s not what you’re going to do. You’ll keep your phone - but for how long until it’s compromised enough you need to change the number? You tell me it’s not about burning bridges, but that’s what it sounds like”.
“If this is about guilt, check yourself,” my voice went low - almost a growl but not really, “If you think I blame you for what Darius did, I don’t. My life was already going nowhere good, trust me, if it hadn’t been then it would have been later and that much worse”.
I glanced stiffly at our little abode. We hadn’t lived here too long, but we’d already managed to get a sofa and some throw pillows. The table and chairs had been a nice find on someone’s curb; you almost wouldn’t believe it hadn’t been obtained specifically for the space. We’d gotten little hand towels and hand soaps that smelled like flowers. It wasn’t much, but it was a home.
“Here’s what I do know. A house, a job - it doesn’t mean much without the people to match. Otherwise it’s just a house, and it’s just a job”.
Quote from Adriana on September 29, 2020, 10:21 amI listened to Val. The tone of his voice, the weight of his words. The truth of the matter was that I'd been his friend longer than I'd known my husband. It was going on some seven or or eight years.. I'd stopped keeping track of time a while ago.
Jodecai had met me when I was sixteen, we had Logan when I was eighteen. I hadn't had her a year before I had to give her up.
I didn't know what we were running from then, besides Darius. Jodecai just said we had to get as far away from them as possible. I didn't know he was a werewolf, either, until the very end. He must have been found out. He left one night without a word, and that's all there is of that story.
It wasn't until over fifteen years later when I met Val that I knew friendship again, or knew how to trust someone other than myself. It was because of him I even knew where Jodecai was now.
"Where do you see us in the next five or so years, Val? What I wouldn't give to see you married, with little versions of you - haha - well, hopefully they don't have your ugly mug- running all around the place." I laughed lightly. "I want you to be so in love that it makes you sick. To be in so deep that you stop thinking about the monsters under the bed because all you can think about is her, all of the time, and somehow your troubles take a backseat."
I leaned into the arm of the sofa now, "And I don't see myself in that picture."
I listened to Val. The tone of his voice, the weight of his words. The truth of the matter was that I'd been his friend longer than I'd known my husband. It was going on some seven or or eight years.. I'd stopped keeping track of time a while ago.
Jodecai had met me when I was sixteen, we had Logan when I was eighteen. I hadn't had her a year before I had to give her up.
I didn't know what we were running from then, besides Darius. Jodecai just said we had to get as far away from them as possible. I didn't know he was a werewolf, either, until the very end. He must have been found out. He left one night without a word, and that's all there is of that story.
It wasn't until over fifteen years later when I met Val that I knew friendship again, or knew how to trust someone other than myself. It was because of him I even knew where Jodecai was now.
"Where do you see us in the next five or so years, Val? What I wouldn't give to see you married, with little versions of you - haha - well, hopefully they don't have your ugly mug- running all around the place." I laughed lightly. "I want you to be so in love that it makes you sick. To be in so deep that you stop thinking about the monsters under the bed because all you can think about is her, all of the time, and somehow your troubles take a backseat."
I leaned into the arm of the sofa now, "And I don't see myself in that picture."
Quote from Indy on September 29, 2020, 11:20 amI considered that, leaning back in the seat in a weary sight.
“You own a flower shop,” I said suddenly, “No self-respecting werewolf would ever step foot in one, but good thing we’re not self-respecting. You have every flower and color imaginable, and you like roses the best because the sweetest smell always has the sharpest thorns”.
“I adopt a hoard of gremlins that rule this town and have the populace in fear for the next time they have sugar. We stop by the flower shop every day before I drop the gremlins off to school and I go to work - I’m the owner of the only pirate-themed bar in town. I’m pretty sure you’re the only one that keeps the gremlins in check - they’re rightly terrified of their nana Robin”.
I sighed, rolling my fingers together, “Sometimes we have bad days - I mean, every life has a bad day. Can’t be helped, the monsters will always be there even if they’re just under the bed. But it’s a good life. We live it and take each day as it comes”.
I turned to face Robin for the first time, fixing an intent stare at her, “See? Not so hard. Why not you tell me what this is really about”.
I considered that, leaning back in the seat in a weary sight.
“You own a flower shop,” I said suddenly, “No self-respecting werewolf would ever step foot in one, but good thing we’re not self-respecting. You have every flower and color imaginable, and you like roses the best because the sweetest smell always has the sharpest thorns”.
“I adopt a hoard of gremlins that rule this town and have the populace in fear for the next time they have sugar. We stop by the flower shop every day before I drop the gremlins off to school and I go to work - I’m the owner of the only pirate-themed bar in town. I’m pretty sure you’re the only one that keeps the gremlins in check - they’re rightly terrified of their nana Robin”.
I sighed, rolling my fingers together, “Sometimes we have bad days - I mean, every life has a bad day. Can’t be helped, the monsters will always be there even if they’re just under the bed. But it’s a good life. We live it and take each day as it comes”.
I turned to face Robin for the first time, fixing an intent stare at her, “See? Not so hard. Why not you tell me what this is really about”.
Quote from Adriana on September 29, 2020, 11:11 pmI couldn't help but laugh in spite of the tears that I found on my face. I'm not sure where he came up with this stuff-but those visuals would be burned in my mind forever.
After collecting myself, I stood and moved over to the table, pulling up a chair across from Val and sitting on it backwards. I wiped my face with the palms of my hands and leaned on the back of the chair.
"It's about a lot of things Val. About having an identity - not rooted in a gang, a lost love, an allegiance.. about being an individual, for both of us. I wanted to be an astronaut when I was little, and now I just want to live another day. I need to learn more about that girl who had dreams. It's about trust - in ourselves, that we will thrive in spite of distance, in each other that the other will be alright."
I knew it wasn't easy, for either of us.
"I'm not jumping state borders... you 'member that cabin? One the Chapman's own, we stayed at it for a while after-you know.. I'm planning to use that. It's a few hours away, but it has a landline. I'm not changing my name again, I'm not changing my plates, or my phone.. I just," I sighed, tugging my shirt away from my body for emphasis, "I feel like I'm suffocating here, Val. My soul can't breathe... not that that exactly makes sense, I know, but I don't know - I'm suspended between him and you - in different ways - and I don't feel like I'm my own person lately."
I couldn't help but laugh in spite of the tears that I found on my face. I'm not sure where he came up with this stuff-but those visuals would be burned in my mind forever.
After collecting myself, I stood and moved over to the table, pulling up a chair across from Val and sitting on it backwards. I wiped my face with the palms of my hands and leaned on the back of the chair.
"It's about a lot of things Val. About having an identity - not rooted in a gang, a lost love, an allegiance.. about being an individual, for both of us. I wanted to be an astronaut when I was little, and now I just want to live another day. I need to learn more about that girl who had dreams. It's about trust - in ourselves, that we will thrive in spite of distance, in each other that the other will be alright."
I knew it wasn't easy, for either of us.
"I'm not jumping state borders... you 'member that cabin? One the Chapman's own, we stayed at it for a while after-you know.. I'm planning to use that. It's a few hours away, but it has a landline. I'm not changing my name again, I'm not changing my plates, or my phone.. I just," I sighed, tugging my shirt away from my body for emphasis, "I feel like I'm suffocating here, Val. My soul can't breathe... not that that exactly makes sense, I know, but I don't know - I'm suspended between him and you - in different ways - and I don't feel like I'm my own person lately."
