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Building a Foundation

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(Late August or early September, after Weight of a Word and before Where the Moon Meets the Mountain  …)

A great upheaval had taken place.

The earth was raw and pock marked, the rich black soil exposed over a patch, longer than it was wide. Shrubs and grasses sat in piles along a man-made perimeter, the apparent reason for the holes and divots of varying sizes.

Along the edges of the squared off area - but still some short distance from the wet earth - were logs, just over nineteen feet on the long sides and almost over sixteen on the short sides.

Around the perimeter of the wet patch, a heavy pair of arms worked diligently to dig out a trench two feet deep and equally as wide. A shovel might have been easier, but not as satisfying.

Logan might have looked like a large dog kicking up earth until she came out of the finished trench and stood on two legs, walking the border she had made and inspecting the work for consistency. Then she dropped down again on her hands and feet and shook the earth from her thick coat. Mud came off in satisfying clumps, but her coat remained wet and dusted with brown.

"Good foundation is important. We will fill with stones from the mountain, and fill this in with that dirt."

She said, plopping down with her belly on the cold, wet soil in the center of the patch.

"You see now? There will be the door where you are standing - ah, tall door.. this is good spot. You are welcome anytime to visit. You are good worker, your parents are proud, yes?"

Theo was in awe when Logan had first come to him and asked, in her matter-of-fact way, want to build a house?

It had been thus far the only request made to him by the pack, and no less one so immense could not be denied. He had never built something so impressive before, yet he was content to Logan's direction. He carried the lumber when she asked, nodded knowingly when she spoke of what would be, and at times he could swear he almost saw what she saw.

He didn't speak much. It wasn't that he was shy or intimidated by the woman, but in work there often wasn't much to say beyond the doing of it. He was surprised, therefore, when the personal question came afloat amidst the lumber and dirt. Sweat rolling down his back from earlier exertion, his expression did not hide well the small wave of pain that floated from his stomach.

"I, erm... don't know," he admitted sheepishly, and then looked to the side.

Logan stretched out her furry gray arms in front of her and drew them back close, her claws digging into the earth as she did so. It's smell was so rich and tantalizing, that for a moment, she considered taking a bite of it..

Then her ears went up and her fluffy head tilted to the side a bit.

"I am sorry... you do not know them?" she asked.

"N-no, it's not that, I mean--"

Did he know his parents? Truly? It had been almost two years since he left now, and those memories he had were a disjointed mess. In one image was what he had seen in a child: his mother standing by the herbs, humming, as they gathered for their morning meal. And in the other...

"I left," he explained awkwardly, "Didn't really, I mean..."

He let his arms shrug out expressively, lacking the words to convey his emotions.

"Ah," Logan sat back on her haunches, still looking like a massive herding dog more than a feral wolf. "If it is... a struggle, you do not need to say. Still I am listening." she said, then observed;

"You were unhappy?"

In her secondary form, her accent was somehow thicker.

The trees rustled with a breeze overhead, sending the evening light into a twinkling dance about the little clearing.

Besides the two werewolves speaking, and the occasional call of the mountain bluebird, it was silent and peaceful.

Theo struggled a moment to speak, so he didn't. There was something comforting he had found in silence. Words could go unsaid in it, but it was easier to listen to ones own heart within it. Certainly these many months in the mountains, he had become more attuned with it than years of living in his family's boisterous pack.

He watched the foliage as it stirred, then in turn focused on the steadiness of Logan's breath. What could he say in comparing this world in the one he had come from? In some ways it had been similar, and in others, far different.

"Yes," he said finally.

And then smally, "And, uh people... were unhappy with me".

It was better for everyone this way. But had it been? That had been the thought when he left, and now he wondered.. maybe it had just been easier.

"I do not see how this is," Logan said.

She had seen Theo to be one of the most peaceful and sound members of the pack. Even on her first meeting with him, in her anger, he had met her with peace and hospitality.

"I am not saying you are a liar." she clarified, "Only, I do not understand. Why is this? Maybe, you are mistaken. You are too young to have enemies, still."

Theo looked taken aback by her words - met at first by surprise, and then at the corners of his eyes, the sentiment trying to leak through.

How long he had wondered. If only... that voice always went. Or Maybe, now it said, You were mistaken. Maybe he left for nothing. Or maybe, no one back home even missed that he was gone.

That was the problem in silence. Though he could always find his heart in it, sometimes his heart was burdened with questions it would never receive the answer to. He turned his face to his palms, and stiffly rubbed the tiny bit of moisture that had escaped and inhaled  his suddenly sniffly nose.

"It's not enemies it's..." he ran his fingers to the left of his sternum, resting his thick palm, "It's a problem with my heart".

He shrugged, "Always something wrong with it, not like, um physically, but just.. weak. I was too weak to stay".

When Theo looked back up from his palms, Logan was standing as a human, closer than she was before. She could smell the salt of his tears before he rubbed them away.

At first when he began to speak, and mentioned his heart, she grew concerned--she had not noticed a condition, and hoped that the hard labor did not exacerbate the problem--then he clarified, and she was worried in a different manner than before.

"Why do you say this, you were too weak? I see no weakness." she said, softly.

Logan's question was a simple one, but it was one the words felt like a labyrinth to. Behind that word was an entire world, an entire lifetime behind it.. and he could not find the means by which to articulate it. He clenched his fists meditatively, squeezing them aimlessly as the thoughts percolated.

"Have... have you ever been asked to do something you couldn't do?"

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